how must old 'hill feel

we all know (or most of us) that she thought way back when that she'd bag the nomination

and will all the repressive, redneck types huddling in cul de sacs really vote a black man into the highest office

the politically correct-ness is old and i don't see any of my upper middle class liberal pals voting old hussien into office no matter how many college kids and blacks and such really think we are ready for it all

i'd like to give some insight to a broad spectrum that most hyper libs won't acknowledge and most consevatives dream about 

i think beneath it all people realize that even in this particular era of bush haters that

most will panic when it is time to put a black into office and where i live i am just beggining to hear whispers about this fear when out with friends or friends of friends

i realize that i myself or these people do not represent everyone yet considering i am the sole republican in a group of democratics as far as this circle of friends goes is significant as libs don't normally reveal any fears as they are much too busy and involved in shooting their mouths off to be heard when babbling about any range and array of subjects

but people are coming down off of the high they were basted in a few weeks back

at this point i don't mind who is president

each of the four will have one hella good time trying to please such a variety of views wants needs from the general public that all are doomed to a sort of long shot when it comes to accomplishing anything

people think if they vote in hussien that things will change but the fact is that he has very little chance of changing things on the micro level down on the city/town level and as far as washington goes fat chance he'll win people over there

those people in congress see someone they can knock around as hussien is so darn wishy washy and inexperienced

hill is simply a tried and true politician which is the long and short and beginning and end to it

mccain is also someone who has played the game on all levels from three seperate but connected arenas and will only be a sort of bland babysitter to our great nation

i want to see if a black can become president

a black socialist who thinks everyone should be equal socially and financially and such

not in america i think

no one is getting their hands on my stack

:)

that is what offshore is for, aight?

sleep

returned

i had dreams

woke refreshed

i think there is so much pretension in society with people grabbing for a limelight wherever they can push a toe on it 

i am never really convinced people can handle just being who they are and they desire to be someone special beyond being someone's special someone

they get really angry when you call them out on the fluffing of their own feathers wanting as they do to be popular and desired and i try to ignore the media and ugly girls like that willis daughter as she preens her potato head (i didn't brand her, others did but jeez she does have a potato head) to any camera she can and boy girl you are never going to be your momma or your dad for that matter

point being that i see all around me even online something that never changes

the otherwise unattractive people have to rely on their wit or their bullying tactics where their prose is concerned for attention

i rely on nothing for attention i don't want it and i feel that normally attention unless altruistically lent is for negative reasons

and i never will support gays marrying

it is an oxymoron and really a boring subject

the penis does not belong in the anus and nothing will ever convince me love makes that okay

as for two women i can understand why they'd leave off men with all the testosterone but i am no feminist

and my god is it nice to pluck away in a little corner and be annonymous

on my old blogging site the people with the loudest mouths could say or believe whatever they wished and no one could get a word in when disputing and i found that the proof of these fat, ugly women that couldn't ever be any more than that even with their nastiness needed the vindication

the funny thing is that i never said I was female and they assumed i was

i laughed

i can't remember those nights when i just crawled into bed and fell asleep

i forget what really good sleep is

i am in the place now where i have all the lists of things to do to help relax the insomniac though i feel very anti-do-these-things not wanting to commit to any regimen or itinerary to induce sleep

i don't want to be pushed into a group because i know all the reasons i started to lose sleep and why i don't get into bed at a usual time

i think about lately why i left my old and trusted and much loved blogging site and i think somehow i felt too much pressure there to perform the act of blogging which became tedious and nearly burdensome

how many times can you blog about your day-to-day then recieve replies then get this silent, wordy applause for writing skills after producing well written little bits when all you really want to do is type out your day and your difficulties and vent it out of yourself

the things i want to write about are boring and not very interesting but feel good to get out even if i want to repeat myself

i feel lousy about my face breaking out due to the physical stress of not sleeping well or not sleeping in long enough stretches to get good rest

i feel lousy about my hair loss

i feel lousy about itchy eyes

but i feel great about so many other things that i am dealing with having to put make-up on my face to cover the breakouts that aren't acne but hard bumps that eventually go down flat but then have this hard patch that wants to be picked off so the make-up won't go funny over it

it all sounds as i think it very shallow but i love having good skin

i love sleeping too

past novelties missed and yearned for like first love

pushing the shovel into the soil i know there will be earthworms but i don't want to see them as they will squirm and should i push the shovel in at the wrong moment i could slice one in halves

a halved worm is gross

a halved grapefruit is nice

if a grapefruit is havled you can juice it or scoop out clumps; sipping or eating

i'm thinking that i wish i didn't have trouble sleeping though i know it is hormonal it is uncomfortable

i eat more late at night or in the wee hours which doesn't sit well with me as i'd like to lose a few pounds and my muffin top

i thought it was hilarious to find someone actually named the new phenomena of a person's blubber bulging over the sides of their pants though i do not expose my muffin lumps

i ramble sometimes and these were always my favorite blog entries because i can read back and date whatever was going on in my life at the time i wrote the entry

today i planted some flowers and ate grapefruit and noticed my pants from last summer fit but not the way they fit last summer

i need to start excersizing

right now

:)